Jobs I've held:
1. OfficeMax it's one word my friend ;) i was customer service
2. Nutritionist
3. Nanny
Places to go for a weekend getaway:
1. Florida panhandle
2. Gatlinburg, TN
3. North Georgia
Movies I Can Watch Over & Over:
1. Hairspray (the original)
2. Austin Powers (especially #2)
3. Dune
4. Anchorman
My Guilty Pleasures:
1. Computer
2. TV
3. Makeup
4. Drinking milk
Places I Have Lived:
1. Illinois
2. Georgia
What were most likely the first things you thought of when you saw your significant other for the first time?
1. "That guy is totally looking at me"
2. "He has cute glasses"
3. "Is he a bug boy (aka in GA for summer work)? I hope not."
Places I have Been on Vacation?
1. new york, philly, greece, florida, phoenix, sedona, chicago, tennessee, virginia
Favorite Foods
1. Mexican
2. Greek
3. Sushi
4. Mexican
If in a "jam" with your spouse, what tactics do you use to get out of the doghouse?
1. Leave room for a few minutes
2. Yell "I'm lonely" from said other room
3. Snuggle
Websites I visit (almost daily)
1. makeup place
2. gmail
3. aolmail
4. this blog
Best 1st kisses landmarks.
1. church parking lot lol
Places I'd Rather Be right now
1. Under the baby, him sleepin on my tummy
2. Mall
3. Target
4. Swimming
Now I get to pick 4 other blog buddies to do this!
1. Kate
2. Elizabeth
3. Mindy
4. Vanessa
to give 7 random facts about me.
1. i used to be able to turn my belly button inside out whenever i wanted (the baby stretched it out though)
2. i like puke green, light purple, and turquoise
3. i can speak greek (pretty much)
4. i have one brother who is in many bands
5. i hate shaving my legs
6. i would drink a gallon of milk a day, easily xoxo milk
7. i think my baby is the cutest baby i have ever seen!!!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Hilarious Dave Barry article about babies
Newborn emits astonishing noises, smells
Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Feb 19, 2006 by Dave Barry
This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on May 7, 2000.
When people ask me, "Dave, what's it like to have a newborn baby in the household?" I immediately answer: " . . . "
This is because I am sleeping. I spend a lot of my day in an unconscious state, because my 2-month-old daughter, Sophie, does not believe in sleeping at night. She feels that the nighttime hours are best used for making loud, inexplicable, Exorcist-style noises. At 3:30 a.m., her bassinet will suddenly start shaking like an unbalanced clothes dryer and erupt with a wide range of squeaks, gurgles, chirps, snorts, snuffles, grunts, etc. It does not sound like there's a lone baby in there. It sounds like the entire Barnyard of the Demons. (Which would be an excellent name for a band.)
Sophie routinely makes noises that cannot be explained by the known laws of physics. Recently, some friends came over to admire her, and we had her all dressed up in a cute little baby outfit featuring little bloomers with cherries on them, and while everybody was gathered around admiring how sweet and delicate and innocent she looked, Sophie -- who is, physically, no larger than a standard pumpkin -- cut loose with a series of massive, resonating, bloomer- inflating bodily blasts that you would think could be produced only by a 350-pound man who had just won a burrito-eating contest. If I had not been holding her firmly at the time, I believe she would have propelled herself, missile-style, through the ceiling.
"How . . . cute!" our friends said, as the aroma wafted around us, fog-like.
I'm not saying that all Sophie does is make noises. As a brand- new human being with an inquisitive mind, she is also exploring the mystery and magic of the world around her, by which I mean she is trying to get her hands completely into her mouth. This is her primary goal in life.
Her arms and legs constantly wave around in a random manner, and every now and then, when a hand happens to land on her mouth, she becomes excited and starts sucking on it like crazy. But then, without warning, the arm yanks the hand away, which makes Sophie VERY angry. If she ever finds out who is operating her arms, she is going to give that person a piece of her mind, if she ever figures out how to talk.
Yes, it's an exciting time in our household, a time of learning and growing and having plastic bags of frozen breast milk in the freezer next to the Tater Tots. In our family, we strongly believe in breast-feeding, which has many benefits, the main one being: Men cannot do it. Not that I don't contribute! I'm always giving my wife useful breast-feeding pointers, such as: "Time for you to breast- feed her!" And: "Time for you to breast-feed her again!" And: "I would gladly breast-feed her, but, tragically, I am a man."
(Actually, I suspect that men CAN breast-feed; it's just that, in the entire history of the human race, no man has ever actually tried.)
I do change diapers. A LOT. It is a known baby fact that babies put out far more material than they take in; physicists now believe that babies account for most of the matter in the universe. If you were to stack up all the diapers I have changed in just two months, one on top of the other, you would never be invited to a party again for the rest of your life.
Our house would smell like a malfunctioning sewage plant, except that we have a product called the Diaper Genie, which encloses diapers in a long, odor-proof plastic bag. As a parent, I believe this is the greatest of all humanity's inventions, including low- fat Cheez-Its. You take your diaper, you put it into your Diaper Genie, you twist the plastic bag, and, as the French say, Voila! (Literally, "You are not smelling any more the poop.")
When your Diaper Genie fills up, you open the bottom and remove an amazing, 15-foot-long, segmented, caterpillar-like Chain of Doodies. We've been throwing these away, but it seems to me we ought to be turning them over to the U.S. Air Force as a potentially devastating military weapon.
Another excellent item of modern baby technology is the battery- powered swing. When your baby is in a bad mood because she cannot get her hand inside her mouth, you put her in this swing and let it rock her gently into a blissful state of suspended baby animation lasting long enough that sometimes you can actually take a shower. This device works so well that I think we should make a larger version and use it to calm hyperactive adults.
If you're a psychiatric professional who would like to explore this idea, let's schedule a meeting. I want to sleep on your couch.
Dave Barry is a columnist for the Miami Herald. He is continuing a leave of absence from writing his weekly humor column. Write to him c/o The Miami Herald, One Herald Plaza, Miami, FL 33132. Knight Ridder Newspapers
Copyright C 2006 Deseret News Publishing Co.Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.
Deseret News (Salt Lake City), Feb 19, 2006 by Dave Barry
This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on May 7, 2000.
When people ask me, "Dave, what's it like to have a newborn baby in the household?" I immediately answer: " . . . "
This is because I am sleeping. I spend a lot of my day in an unconscious state, because my 2-month-old daughter, Sophie, does not believe in sleeping at night. She feels that the nighttime hours are best used for making loud, inexplicable, Exorcist-style noises. At 3:30 a.m., her bassinet will suddenly start shaking like an unbalanced clothes dryer and erupt with a wide range of squeaks, gurgles, chirps, snorts, snuffles, grunts, etc. It does not sound like there's a lone baby in there. It sounds like the entire Barnyard of the Demons. (Which would be an excellent name for a band.)
Sophie routinely makes noises that cannot be explained by the known laws of physics. Recently, some friends came over to admire her, and we had her all dressed up in a cute little baby outfit featuring little bloomers with cherries on them, and while everybody was gathered around admiring how sweet and delicate and innocent she looked, Sophie -- who is, physically, no larger than a standard pumpkin -- cut loose with a series of massive, resonating, bloomer- inflating bodily blasts that you would think could be produced only by a 350-pound man who had just won a burrito-eating contest. If I had not been holding her firmly at the time, I believe she would have propelled herself, missile-style, through the ceiling.
"How . . . cute!" our friends said, as the aroma wafted around us, fog-like.
I'm not saying that all Sophie does is make noises. As a brand- new human being with an inquisitive mind, she is also exploring the mystery and magic of the world around her, by which I mean she is trying to get her hands completely into her mouth. This is her primary goal in life.
Her arms and legs constantly wave around in a random manner, and every now and then, when a hand happens to land on her mouth, she becomes excited and starts sucking on it like crazy. But then, without warning, the arm yanks the hand away, which makes Sophie VERY angry. If she ever finds out who is operating her arms, she is going to give that person a piece of her mind, if she ever figures out how to talk.
Yes, it's an exciting time in our household, a time of learning and growing and having plastic bags of frozen breast milk in the freezer next to the Tater Tots. In our family, we strongly believe in breast-feeding, which has many benefits, the main one being: Men cannot do it. Not that I don't contribute! I'm always giving my wife useful breast-feeding pointers, such as: "Time for you to breast- feed her!" And: "Time for you to breast-feed her again!" And: "I would gladly breast-feed her, but, tragically, I am a man."
(Actually, I suspect that men CAN breast-feed; it's just that, in the entire history of the human race, no man has ever actually tried.)
I do change diapers. A LOT. It is a known baby fact that babies put out far more material than they take in; physicists now believe that babies account for most of the matter in the universe. If you were to stack up all the diapers I have changed in just two months, one on top of the other, you would never be invited to a party again for the rest of your life.
Our house would smell like a malfunctioning sewage plant, except that we have a product called the Diaper Genie, which encloses diapers in a long, odor-proof plastic bag. As a parent, I believe this is the greatest of all humanity's inventions, including low- fat Cheez-Its. You take your diaper, you put it into your Diaper Genie, you twist the plastic bag, and, as the French say, Voila! (Literally, "You are not smelling any more the poop.")
When your Diaper Genie fills up, you open the bottom and remove an amazing, 15-foot-long, segmented, caterpillar-like Chain of Doodies. We've been throwing these away, but it seems to me we ought to be turning them over to the U.S. Air Force as a potentially devastating military weapon.
Another excellent item of modern baby technology is the battery- powered swing. When your baby is in a bad mood because she cannot get her hand inside her mouth, you put her in this swing and let it rock her gently into a blissful state of suspended baby animation lasting long enough that sometimes you can actually take a shower. This device works so well that I think we should make a larger version and use it to calm hyperactive adults.
If you're a psychiatric professional who would like to explore this idea, let's schedule a meeting. I want to sleep on your couch.
Dave Barry is a columnist for the Miami Herald. He is continuing a leave of absence from writing his weekly humor column. Write to him c/o The Miami Herald, One Herald Plaza, Miami, FL 33132. Knight Ridder Newspapers
Copyright C 2006 Deseret News Publishing Co.Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
1st bath time
This had to be a fast experience. Jones was cold and did not want to have a bath at all, so he just screamed the whole time. He doesn't like to be cold at all!
Jones at Home
Here are some pictures from when we got home. It has been great. It took Penny a minute to realize that he is not going to only want to sleep at night (I know that seems obvious, but she was running on zero sleep). Penny also realized that she needs to sleep whenever she can, like when Jones is sleeping (she only wants to breastfeed). It is a bit of an adjustment but it is amazing to see a brand new person. God has blessed us with a wonderful child. He has been so good for us.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Our baby is born! You can watch his first bath here:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2930626152087494966
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